Habits

So it’s almost March, and I thought I’d report in on my previous post called 2009.  I commented that I had named my year ‘discipline’ because I was feeling like God was going to do something in me regarding being disciplined this year.  I’m pretty stoked because I’ve lost 25 lbs, my closet’s clean (can’t find any skeletons there either!), and my spiritual habits feel great.  I’ve read a lot about spiritual disciplines, but I’ve never had this much fruit from them.

I’ve taken a break from preaching through Matthew to focus on teaching spiritual disciplines.  Then I saw an article by another Vineyard guy who said that there’s an upsurge in ‘Spiritual Formation’ with a focus on things like spiritual disciplines.  He said,

The topic of Spiritual Formation is becoming popular. This both excites me and worries me. It excites me because for years now I have been trying to help and encourage pastors to slow down and create more space in their lives for soul-care. It worries me because I fear “spiritual formation” will become the latest fad.

I share his concern.  I can’t stand it when the church turns a good thing into a book writing spree and money making opportunity. Even so, my wife assures me that if people are really being transformed through spiritual habits, then it doesn’t matter so much.  OK.  But I’m glad I’m already on it.  If it was becoming a fad already, I would be tempted to ignore it.  I still haven’t read the Prayer of Jabez, or the 40 Days of Purpose.

Maybe you need to pray for my soul . . .

Sabbath

I’m thinking about what sabbath means this week. I’m teaching Matt 12 this week.  Nobody’s going to get this message if they don’t get sabbath.  I work to have a church that’s culturally relevant, and nobody relevant talks about sabbath.  Only an older generation that believed in not working on Sunday.  And blue laws. But to be serious about understanding the Christian faith, I think I need to do a bang up job with this message.

How many times do you think the bible talks about the sabbath? The word itself occurs 167 times in the ESV. I’ll guarantee that lots of times its talking about sabbath even when it doesn’t use the word.  Also, the word means ‘to cease, desist, or rest’.  The word rest occurs almost 650 times.  God talks about it all the time.

It’s obvious that one of God’s great blessings he is offering us is rest. I’m motivated figure it out.

2009

Welcome to a new year.

I always try to name my year.  It’s what I sense in my spirit that God is going to do in my life.  I’m calling 2009 my year of discipline.  That’s embracing a term that cause many to feel an acidic burning in their gut – maybe even a little bit of a lurch.  But, so far, discipline is bringing me peace.

I know, I know, it sounds like typical new years resolution flim flam, but I have to start somewhere, you know.  I weigh 20 lbs more than I need.  My spiritual life needs nourishment.  My time is precious.  I had a grandfather and a great-grandfather die of heart attacks at age 48.  My father developed diabetes at 48.  My exercise habits are sporadic.  I’ve been reading that not enough sleep can increase risk of heart attack.  A glass of wine a day can have heart-health benefits (I’m disciplined here, hmmm).  I sin more than you want to know (or maybe you do want to know).  My blog has cobwebs in the corners.  (whuuuuff!)

So, what am I resolving?  Nothing.  Really.  I don’t make resolutions.  But I AM enjoying some new disciplines.  I love the fruit that comes from various good habits.  But it’s not like I’m resolving to keep them up.  Even so, I’m making a start at enjoying the kind of life that I want to live.  Shall I indulge you?

• I bought a guitar with some Christmas money, so now I have one at the office and one at home.  I’m worshiping more.  It feeds my soul.  It honors God.  It’s fun and therapeutic.  I used to worship with my guitar every day.
  
• I got a bike for Christmas.  It’s cool.  It makes me want to ride.  Riding gives me exercise.  When I exercise I lose weight,  feel better, and look better.  Watch out, waxing chick magnet skills (only one chick per coop, please).
  
• I’ve been reading a book about how spiritual disciplines (holy habits, spiritual practices) rightly done and experienced, will lead to acting out in love, kindness, action.  It focuses on 3 main practices.  So far, I have been wading around in the prayer of examen.  Honestly, it’s transforming me.  Honest.  Really.
  
• I’m enjoying eating healthy foods.  Oh, I enjoy unhealthy foods too, but I’m successfully reserving those for my day off, usually Sunday.  I follow a reasonably modified version of Body for Life.  If you want to laugh, go to their site and look at the before and after pictures of people.  (Of course, if you laugh too hard, God will give you a ‘crick’ in your neck so that you will always be looking down at you muffin top gut hanging over your belt for punishment.)

Well, any way you look at it, my life needs a little more discipline.  I feel like I’m missing some of the good qualities in my life that I was experiencing 15 years ago.  As I try and recapture some of those, I believe God will take me to new depths, if you will.

Maybe more on that next time.

But the real reason for calling 2009 my year of discipline?  I believe God told me to.

Makes a difference to this one.

I was at the front of the church, and the guy I had prayed for was just walking away.  Having a second to just sit and ponder, I was still talking to God and was looking at my heart at the same time.  In almost a confession, I said something like, “You know God, all we really want is for the stuff we do to make a difference.”  Unexpectedly, I heard the Spirit say in me, as I looked at several others knelt down praying at the altar, one sobbing, “Made a difference to them.”  That made ME cry.  You see, it reminded me of one of those kind of cheesy stories that ends up in a chicken soup book, about a little boy walking on the beach – well, here’s one version of the story that’s not too long:

As the old man walked down a Spanish beach at dawn, he saw ahead of him what he thought to be a dancer. The young man was running across the sand, rhythmically bending down to pick up a stranded starfish and throw it far into the sea.

The old man gazed in wonder as the young soul again and again threw the small starfish from the sand into the water. The old man approached him and asked why he spent so much energy doing what seemed a waste of time. The young man explained that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun.

“But there are thousands of miles of beach, and miles and miles of starfish. How can your effort make any difference?”

The young man looked down at the small starfish in his hand, and as he threw it to safety in the sea, said, “It makes a difference to this one!”

Sooooo, I told that story to an artist in our church, who immediately got this image, I guess, and started sketching it out, and a couple of weeks later, he brought me this outstanding painting.

Thank you Dallas Gose, for the painting.  I find it very touching and meaningful.

Go make a difference.  You don’t have to change the world.  But you CAN make a difference to someone.

Remember who you are.

While watching the Federer/Nadal tennis match earlier this year, the commentators told a story about Steffi Graf, who won an extraordinary 22 grand slam tennis titles.  Steffi’s coach would motivate her from time to time by reminding her, “Steffi, remember who you are.”

Those words stuck with me.  In no part of my life am I similar in proficiency to Steffi Graf, so why would I hold on to these words?  For me, it’s not who I am, but who WE are, as in members of the body of Christ, and especially what that looks like as members of the Vineyard.

You see, I recently attended a Vineyard conference in Atlanta, GA, and the main speaker was Gary Best.  His goal was to remind us of who we are.  In the Vineyard, we started out as a people who were experiencing lots of the Spirit’s power.  He pointed out that even though many might recognize that those early days could be classified as ‘revival’, and lots of stuff happened rather easily, we still must keep pursuing God’s power as we work to extend his Kingdom.  The stuff is still happening.  God is still healing and delivering, and we should never give up, or move on to anything else.

I came home with fresh vision, faith, and passion.  The following Sunday, we experienced a profound presence of God, several prophetic words (aka words of knowledge)  were shared regarding God’s desire to heal, people were weeping and shaking, and I left church in a daze.  I long for him to do more, to increase his moving, so we’re pressing in.  (It should be noted that coinciding with these events, there has been an increase spiritual fervor in prayer at the Athens Vineyard over the past 6 weeks as well.  I see no coincidences here.)

Let me be clear.  If God moves, it is because he is desiring to move.  We cannot conjur it up, make it happen, or back him into obligatory action.  So the way we ‘remember who we are’ is by making space for him to move (faith) with anticipation (we assume he wants to do good, heal, deliver, and bring life and join him, which involves time, energy and focus, like catching waves, so this post partially explains the previous ).  We don’t make things happen, but we watch and listen whenever we make space, and thereby determine what God is wanting to do.  We can’t make him act, but we can see him and join him.  On the other hand, we can keep our eyes closed and never see what he is doing.  And, perhaps worse, we can quench the Spirit.  IOW, we can’t make him move, but we CAN stifle what he is doing. That’s why we don’t see more of the ’stuff’ than we do.  What we can do is make the space, and learn to watch/listen.  That’s when we discover just how much he is wanting to do.

C’mon, folks.  Remember who you are!

Waves

How do surfers know when the waves are picking up? There’s probably an official forecasting mechanism now, but ‘in the old days’ people probably watched the weather, currents, tides, and after awhile, they probably could just feel the energy in the water.

That’s the way I feel right now. I haven’t found the website that accurately tells me that God is sending some waves, but I’m feeling it in the water. It’s like a feeling in the air. You have to attribute the anticipation to providence – a stirring of your faith that he sends out in ripples. And when you feel them, you jump in the water with your board and start paddling out, anticipating the swell of water.

At the Vineyard (Athens, GA) we’re seeing an increase of spiritual activity. Several people have been outright healed, others have experienced the presence of God like never before (which is key, in my book. It’s his presence in our lives that is the key to the Christian life, you know, ‘Christ in me, the hope of glory’ . . .)

I also feel/hear the sound of battle approaching. Our enemy loses territory when God sends waves and people catch them. So he sets traps and resists. Those who bring their boards to the beach encounter traps – temptations and distractions. We have to join in, paddle out, exert energy to catch waves. If we’re distracted, we miss. If we’re not watching, we don’t know they’re here. If we trip, it hurts and we head inland. Satan wants us on the beach, at least, and completely away from the surf, if possible. The common theme is that his warfare against us will keep us from hitting the water, whether it comes through temptation, discouragement, distraction, busyness, etc. All of his tactics will take us out of the water, and cause us to miss what he is doing. If you get mad at someone and can’t forgive them, you’re not catching waves. If you are very successful in business to the point of distraction and time consumption, you’re out of the water. If you’re spending hours at a time engrossed in porn, you’re not part of the surf scene. If you’re convinced that God can’t use you or your gifts/talents, and don’t think you have anything to offer, you’re not paddling out waiting and looking. Satan will take you out of the surf in any way he can. And he’s good. He knows your weaknesses.

But I’ve been to the beach and seen people fall in the sand, get scraped up, and fail, but because they really want to surf, they get up and hurry on out to the water. People who do that are the ones who get to surf.

If you’re reading this, and you’re in Athens, I hope you’re feeling what I’m feeling. Surf’s up. Somethings up. I can feel the energy rising in the water. Let’s be a part of what Jesus is doing. And keep your eyes peeled for the traps.

Mentoring

I kept waking up in the night with a thought digging at me. “How are you going to have time to mentor a child as busy as you are?” I may need to start applying some of the principles of heart meditation in this post. We have had a growing relationship with a local organization called Friends for Life. This worthy organization recruits mentors for children with incarcerated parents. You simply commit to meet with your child 1 hour a week for 1 year. So tomorrow I have an interview with our program manager to move my application forward to be a mentor.

I’m realistic enough to know that my mentoring relationship may be difficult at best. But I also know that I may impact a young life and have a lifelong relationship with someone because of this effort.

At our church we have been led to implement a model of outreach whereby we join with local organizations already in place who are making an impact in our community. We are joining hand in hand with them, or we’re blessing them in some way that benefits them. We’re really trying to live out the call of God on his people to be a blessing and not a burden. It is so obvious to me that the kind of mentoring that Friends for Life is doing fits our model of outreach like a glove. The relationships we make in the community, whether through mentoring or serving in other ways, seem to have the authenticity we are hungry for. We are training our folks to know how to start the right kind of conversations with the right kind of questions that make conversation about God possible. These conversations rise up out of authentic relationship, fueled by love and service and sacrifice. It seems so right.

Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Our efforts will be fruitless if God doesn’t breathe on our efforts. But the best I can tell, this is what we’re trying to walk in:

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

So my prayer is this: God, empower me, increase my days and my impact according to that power.

I guess I’ll have to chase away the anxiety.

Proof

I read a poem online that I think is very powerful.

Nothing is uglier than
‘they did it to me’

This has nothing
to do with whether

they did it to you,
which I have to assume

they did
Still, whatever

they did, your life remains
yours

When you say they did it
to you

you give your life to them,
ruined

You say,
‘I’m damaged

and you’re the reason
I’m damaged’

The damage is your proof

http://oblivio.com/archives/05032201.html

Are you ready to take your life back from them?

Want some leftovers?

Anytime a pastor does his job preparing for a message, there will be lots of material left over that just can’t be used. I always have lots of nuggets that either don’t fit the point of the message, or there’s no time to fit it all in. So today I offer you a plate of leftovers – some stuff that didn’t make it into my message on anxiety.

I came across an article by JP Moreland about anxiety and depression. Having experienced both of those, he found that he tended (as we all will do) to obsess on some anxiety producing thought. Along the path to recovery from his distress, he discovered a method of meditation that helped him focus on the status of his heart while his mind was going nuts. He says:

. . .when one is anxious or depressed, one tends to obsess, to think over and over again about certain fearful/hurtful thoughts. We do this to try to anticipate a bad or worst case scenario and to reassure ourselves that we are safe, that we can handle it. We also relive traumatic events and their associated emotions, we replay our depressive, anxious fears and thoughts and their associated emotions. Sometimes we do this for a thought/emotion that we can handle. We can’t face all of our fears and worries, so we project all of them onto one or two issues that are “safer” for us to dwell on. . . The problem with this strategy is that one gets into a rut that becomes increasingly hard to escape. Indeed, studies have shown that obsessive thought/emotional patterns and behaviors literally create a neural pathway, a groove in the brain, that becomes habitual and contributes to a situation in which a person is literally stuck on a pattern, stuck in a rut. Among other things, this means that trying to battle anxiety and depression in the head by obsessively worrying is a losing battle. After a while, if one tries to keep from repetitively entertaining the worry, one has to exert considerable energy inward to suppress the worry and this can deplete the brain of needed chemicals and lead to depression.

Not only do I know lots of people who struggle like this, but I have as well. Well, Dr Moreland recommends that we attack this destructive habit by focusing on our heart rather than our head. Like he said, going after it in the mind just focuses more and more attention on the thought. The bible talks about the ‘heart’ (or gut) being the center of our being, and addresses the heart and heart issues throughout. In our day, however, we seem to talk a lot more about the mind. Think about some emotional pain that you have experienced. It seems to center in the middle of your chest or gut. There is an obvious connection between our heart and our mind. Some scientists talk about “heart intelligence,” an intelligent flow of awareness and insight, an intuitive source of wisdom and clear perception that embraces both mental and emotional intelligence. Sometimes when we can’t relieve our pain in our thinking because our racing, obsessive thoughts have created a groove in our mind that it can’t jump out of, so we need to make an attempt to dive into our heart which will then soothe our mind and emotions.

I can tell this is going to be a longer post, but I figure if you’ve made it this far, maybe that’s because you can relate to this problem, and maybe you’re interested in the solution. Just like a good self help book, we’ve got 4 steps, so here goes:

1. When obsessing on an anxious thought or stressful feeling, freeze-frame it. Take a time out. If you have an anxious thought or stressful feeling right now, recognize it, and bring it before your mind. Suppose it is the fear of financial ruin. As this thought and its associated emotion run over and over again in your awareness, freeze it, that is, stop your mental engine from running over and over again, and like stopping a film projector, stop in mid-thought and freeze it. Step one helps a person to obey the biblical injunction to cease striving and stop fretting (see Psalm 46:10, Phil 4:6).
2. With all your might, shift your focus away from your racing mind or troublesome emotions and focus the center of your attention on your physical heart muscle. Attend to the center of your chest where your heart is and stay there for about 10-15 seconds. The goal is to feel the area around your heart. There are two ways to help you in this. First, pretend you are breathing in and out of your heart muscle.
   Second, try to “feel” and attend to the front surface of your physical heart, then the back surface, followed by the right then the left side of your heart. When first learning to practice this meditative activity and form it as a habit, you should take as long as necessary to focus on the heart area. At this point you may feel little emotion there or you may get in touch with a feeling of embarrassment, fear, grief, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, hurt or some other anxiety producer. Step 2 is an aid in internalizing Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Rather than mulling things over and over again in your mind and trying to solve your worries in the head, turn to the core of your inner life, your heart, and learn to trust God there. Step 2 is a way to practice not leaning on your own understanding. Step three is a way of learning to trust God in the heart.
3. Using the acrostic CFAN, recall a memory emotion associated with the relevant memory and let that emotion dwell and dominate the heart area. With your attention on your physical heart area, you want to bring a new positive emotion, a healthy intuitive awareness to dwell there and replace the feelings already there from the worrisome thought you have frozen. To do this, you want to meditate on something positive in order to recall a memory emotion that is positive. CFAN stands for Compassion, Forgiveness, Appreciation and Non-judgmentalism. You want to recall a specific occasion that you can picture in which you either gave or received compassion/love, forgiveness/removal of guilt feelings, appreciation/joy, being non-judgmental/accepting.The important thing is not to do all four of these, but to pick one of these that is most effective for you and constantly return there. For example, recall a time when you gave real love to God, a friend or family member or received the feeling of love from God or someone important to you. Recall a time when your gave appreciation to someone—a special time of worship when your really felt God was there or a time when you gave heartfelt praise and adoration to someone—or a time when you drank in appreciation from the taste of coffee to a spectacular answer to prayer or an endearing biblical truth. And so on. The goal here is not simply to recall the relevant incident, but more importantly, to have the associated emotion fill and remain in your heart area.
4. While holding this emotion in your physical heart area, return to the anxious thought and melt it piece by piece into the heart area and, with full sincerity, ask your heart “Next time, what would be a less stressful, less anxious, more effective response to this thought and the situation to which it refers?” Listen to the heart area for an answer. The goal of step 4 is to so trust in the Lord with your whole heart, that you form the habit of responding there to a worry with compassion, forgiveness, appreciation and a non-judgmental attitude towards yourself or others.By breaking the worrisome thing down into pieces and melting it into the heart, we mean this. Take the thought, for example, that I am going to be ruined financially, break it down to its parts (my children will be embarrassed at school by their clothes, I will be out of a job, my family will look down on me), and by taking that part to the heart area, you allow the anxious thought (I will be out of a job) to be overwhelmed by and newly associated with a positive emotion and not negative ones. If done at various times each day, a habit will be formed that will allow you to come to set the thought aside and not be stuck on it. In the process of setting the thought aside, it will allow you to be able to entertain it without being overwhelmed by negative emotions. You can literally learn to have the thought while feeling, say, joy and compassion. Now, while your heart is not a second person from you, we all talk to ourselves throughout the day. Indeed, our self-talk is an important aspect of a healthy or dysfunctional Christian life. So as a part of step 4, you want to ask your physical heart area (literally address the area of emotion surrounding the heart) about a better way to respond, and look for a mild intuitive insight that comes from the heart area. Generally, the insight will not shout at you; it will be a soft, mild thought or feeling that can be easily overlooked if you are not attending to the heart area.

I hope you’ll let me know if this kind of meditation is helpful for you.

Movies

I’ve seen a couple of movies that are going around with me in my mind.

Once. It’s about an Irish street singer in Dublin (he really is the lead singer for ‘The Frames’- one of my favorite bands) who meets and makes music with a young woman from Eastern Europe. I can’t really figure out what I like so much about this one, except that there is something really deep here about relationships that skips the typical Hollywood theme of dreamy attraction then mind blowing sex, but instead reflects sacrifice, honesty, and even self denial. Be ready to dodge F bombs.

Blood Diamond. This one made me want to do something that matters in the world. Watching people bleed and die so that pretty diamonds can sit in our mall displays and on our fingers was pretty enlightening. AND the fact that these things go on in my world and I had never heard about it??? It really does encourage me not to waste my life. I am going to stand before God one day. I hope the most I can say for myself is NOT that I worked hard for a cushy life. We really can make a difference in our world in so many ways.

BTW check out my link in the side bar under pretty good sites, called ‘Download Movies’ – that’s where I get mine or click here.